Carpe Noctem


The village of Simenon was surrounded on three sides by the Carpathian Mountains. The quaint village was picturesque and quiet, the peace of the area being broken only by an occasional vampire’s attempted fun when feeding. And that was what the Academy was for, wasn’t it? The private school for girls tucked away at the base of Mt. Simenon supplied the local vampires with more than enough blood. Virus V had been rendered ineffectual since the turn of the 20th century with the processing of coffee beans–a mechanism only a chemist could understand and appreciate. It was understood that the bite of the vampire would be minimal and without Virus V–the donor was safe from vampirical contagion. Blood donation by the girls at the Academy was voluntary.  If a girl kept a common newt at her bedside then permission for extraction of blood was denied.   In other newts, that is, other than the common newt, the message was clear permission for the vampire’s bite.

One crisp and vividly colored autumn, a new vampire came to the village, followed by the first snow in the mountains.  He neglected to register at the Chemist’s or Village Clerk’s  but his presence was clearly felt. He refused to cooperate with the laws that had kept the relationship between the two communities in balance. With the agreement of the old order vampires and a silent plebiscite, it was decided that the interloper be destroyed as quickly and quietly as possible. Retired vampire-slayer, Colonel Rolf Vanderdyke of the Holland Crime and Musical Club in Deutchkirk was commissioned to dispose of the miscreant vampire. It was the first time in decades that the long arm of the crime of Nosferatu had reared  its ugly countenance in Simenon.

Due to the severity of the offending vampire’s crime and the equally severe punishment, the Simenon vampires went on strike. It was more a shutdown than a protest and only for the duration of the hunt for the condemned vampire, who called himself, Count Orlog. Colonel Vanderdyke petitioned Simenon’s Village Clerk for the necessary equipment and  to have on record that in case of musical, the Colonel would have to solicit another club member to briefly take over his slaying duties. Colonel Vanderdyke wrote in Lady MacBethany as the alternate.

As luck would have it, the Colonel was indisposed almost immediately upon onset of the contract and so Lady Judith MacBethany was contacted. She came from three mountains west and two mountains north of Simenon so you can see it could take some time to cross into Simenon by car. Meanwhile, the offender attacked without provocation, the musical director of The Hillsarealive Preparatory School and Pancake House, and left a note indicating that the elevator music played in the Pancake House was keeping the vampire awake during daylight hours. Not wanting to seem uncooperative, the musical director, Hans Bougoise, while in hospital for coffee treatments, ordered the Pancake House to cease playing music for the duration of the difficult time ahead.

It was in the blackness of night that Lady MacBethany arrived in the village. Where the Colonel required a parade of sorts, with the village folk all cheering him on, Lady MacBethany preferred the darkness and quiet of night that brought boldness to Count Orlog’s criminal actions. She left her helicopter a few miles away and  sneaked into the village at 1:00 A.M. and by 2:30 A.M. Count Orlog lay dead at her feet with a silver stake through his heart–the owner of the morgue having just arrived. Word was sent throughout the village and people came running out of their homes. Lady MacBethany received countless thank you’s. She signed papers for the Village Clerk’s records and signed for the morgue. She signed and signed with a glass of bourbon in one hand and pen in the other. By 4:00 A.M. Lady MacBethany was on her way home. It was mortally necessary she get back before sunrise….

Inspiration Monday:  In other  newts

Prompts:  In other newts, attempted fun, the long arm of the crime, in case of musical, on strike

Word Count: 654

Photo Credit of Sibiu, Transylvania, Romania (

Many thanks to Stephanie Orges for hosting Inspiration Monday at Be Kind Rewrite



When I was a kid I wanted to be an "atomic" scientist. Not anything my mother expected of me. Well, I became a scientist, just not an atomic one.

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Posted in fiction, horror, humor, inspiration monday, vampires
2 comments on “Carpe Noctem
  1. SO many gems in here! The Holland Crime and Musical Club! The Hillsarealive Prepatory School and Pancake House! I love it!

    • Lucy says:

      Glad you like it. I actually cut out a lot because my stories are far too long. You see, I really believe that schools could run a business on the side like a Pancake House or Skydiving School. Glad to be back. Lucy

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