“I’m telling you, QUAD, I want a box of them in exchange for hacking into her site…”
“You know, LOKI, we both graduated from MIT. I bet I can do this myself and it won’t cost me anything.”
“QUAD…have you ever hacked before? No, I doubt it. And of all places–you will never get past the first gate. 22WASP has a new and improved ironclad gate. And who wrote it? Moi, of course.”
“So, you want a whole box for not really hacking into 22WASP’s site? Not happening.”
We could wait hours for those two philanthropists to resolve their little trade agreement. Let’s not. What LOKI doesn’t know is that QUAD is down to the last yodel. It’s November 2012 and a baker’s union strike has caused the owning company to shut down production of yodels. All the QUAD has to do is get into the computer that has shipping access, ship the last of the yodels to a dummy site, and QUAD will be good to go–or so the optimistic QUAD believed. One can never tell what might happen here at Science Affliction Theater…
“QUAD. you’re annoying me. WASP no longer has shipping access or any kind of access to the yodels. You’re out of luck, old man.”
“Who has access of any kind to the yodels? Can you find out, LOKI?”
“Already did. Doesn’t look good, though, Quad. Only the VP has access and all gates are closed off to the general public on the web. This one’s over my head. You need someone like, SOG827, to break into the VP’s network.”
“Loki, you know SOG827. Can we get him?”
“Nobody knows SOG827, Quad, except maybe his girlfriend, Tanner, and, no one knows Tanner…
You will owe me a lot of yodels, my friend. Right? Right, Quad?”
QUAD located the VP. LOKI talked SOG into helping but he wanted to talk with QUAD, not the middle man. SOG and QUAD talked online for over 2 hours. All the while, SOG was working on accessing shipping of the yodels. By the end of their conversation, SOG not only found access, he also solved the problem of a secure site to send the order. QUAD disagreed and SOG finally gave in to QUAD’s plan.
“Okay, QUAD, shipment confirmed and delivery will be tomorrow by 1300 hours. Are you going to wait for it there?”
“Well, you’ve had this identity a long time, Tanner. I’d like to sit down with you and discuss it. We can wait for the yodels together.”
“I’m a guy, SOG, not your girlfriend. Meet me tomorrow and you’ll see. Thanks for everything, Sword of Gideon.”
“Yep, you’re Tanner, all right. Why…?”
“So long, SOG.”
The next day, SOG arrived at the delivery site by 0800 hours. By 1400 hours there had been no delivery and no QUAD. SOG figured QUAD rerouted the shipment. He tried to access the shipping portal but all the doors were closed. It was very secure. He wondered exactly who QUAD was–certainly not Tanner. This was the work of a real pro, like himself.
SOG never caught QUAD moving any amount of yodels, yet QUAD moved them all except those that went into the personal stash, and the ones for LOKI. SOG received a delivery of yodels at his home. No one knew where SOG lived. No one knew he was SOG except for Tanner.
Sword of Gideon was arrested at his home by the FBI. While being interrogated, for the fifth time, SOG figured out what had happened. He wasn’t sure why he was left out on a limb, but he had an idea. Everyone was in on it: LOKI88, 22WASP, and Tanner as QUAD. They had all worked together…SOG never could prove it. He was at a Federal prison for the next 25 years. SOG hacked a lot of Federal computers, including the FBI.
Well, so much for the Sword of Gideon. There was one other person who SOG didn’t take into account: the VP with sole access. In his younger days. SOG molested several little girls, one whose father became that VP, but there wasn’t any proof and the child molester got away with it. LOKI88, at the request of 22WASP, found that proof. They then asked QUAD to help execute the plan. And the yodels? Well, they didn’t get to keep all of the huge shipment but the VP saw to it that they each had sufficient yodels for awhile. QUAD continued to use yodels to barter with other hackers online, until finally running out and ate the last yodel. Tanner never was SOG’s girlfriend. She was his therapist.
We leave you now, returning control of your television. Should you ever consider illegal hacking, keep in mind that there’s always a (S)QUAD watching you. Thank you and good night from Science Affliction Theater.
Inspiration Monday: Supersomnia at Be Kind Rewrite
Prompt: The Last Yodel
Word Count: 793
Photo Credit Mob Quad: Wikipedia
Many thanks to Stephanie Orges for hosting Inspiration Monday @ Be Kind Rewrite
Author’s note: Mob Quad is actually a four-sided group of buildings from the 13th and 14th centuries in Merton College, Oxford. In the USA, quads or quadrangles are mostly associated with colleges or universities and are typically undergraduate housing/dorms.
Mob is probably from the Latin: Mobile vulgus meaning the “fickle crowd”, possibly a humorous description of the occupants of the quad.