Young at heart


It’s the future. Twenty-four (24) states seceded from the United States of America. They became New America.  A lot of things changed, but some things never change…

Captain Maylocks commanded the 133 Precinct in New Brooklyn, Nuevo York.  He was fighting a midlife crisis, his wife was losing her battle with menopause and his teenager was a testosterone nightmare.  Maylocks’s dog recently had puppies, five of them, which was one federal offense per puppy.  His house was growing a new roof which was costing him more than he paid for the house.  His oldest daughter was studying for a license to have a child which would make Maylocks a grandfather.

His life sucked.  So, when the police commissioner ordered him to arrest Maxwell Blinder for embezzlement, the Mayor of New Brooklyn (the capitol of New America), well, you know that camel we’ve all heard about?  The one carrying all that straw?  The order to arrest Mayor Blinder was the last straw and that camel collapsed, and although his back was broken in the idiom, it didn’t happen that way.  Maylocks ended up in the cardiac unit of the Billy Crystal Heart Hospital in New Manhattan.

The cardiologist extracted pluripotent stem cells from Maylocks which would be used to grow his new heart and sent the cells to an organ production laboratory in New Atlantic City (the financial capitol of New America). It just so happened that the lab was next door to the Last Millennium Casino where a vile and dangerous crook by the name of Telemundo Dianderas worked in the back kitchen as a sous chef. Dianderas didn’t make enough money to support his extravagant lifestyle so he dabbled in organ trading in the New Black Market. He had a solid connection at the lab next door: his girlfriend, Mitzi, who was a technician in the heart, lung and testicle unit.

It just so happened, that Dianderas targeted Maylocks’ heart for stealing, which, surely, he would not have stolen had he known the heart belonged to a police captain. The heart would be ready by midnight and Mitzi left the back security door open for her boyfriend.  By 9:00 A.M. the following day, cops from the Organ Theft Unit (OTU) were on the scene; forensics technicians were dusting for prints– everything was very Law and Orderish.  In addition, there were two detectives present who were not from the OTU, but from the 133rd, Roswell and Sty.  Maylocks’ wife had given them a call, having heard her husband say many times that they were the best, just weirder than sh***.

After checking out the heart, lung, and testicle unit of the lab, the two detectives went next door to the casino. They found the connection to the laboratory in the back kitchen:  lowlife, Tele Dianderas. They grabbed forensics from the crime scene and had them search the back kitchen while Dianderas sat in the dining room with three armed officers watching over him.  It didn’t take long for forensics to find Maylocks’ new heart in one of the eight refrigerators, packed in a cryogenic pouch.

Roswell waited while the technician logged the heart into evidence on his ipad220.  Roswell then picked up the cryogenic cooler, which contained the heart, and motioned for Sty to follow.  The forensic technician tried to stop him and the Lieutenant from the OTU had armed, uniformed officers surround them.  You see, the Lieutenant claimed the heart was evidence for the theft case and Detective Sty told him it was the property of Captain Maylocks.  It was a standoff until Detective Roswell carefully took his handcuffs from his jacket pocket and cuffed the cooler to himself. Everyone began yelling, the Lieutenant was shouting orders to his men.  It was chaos in the kitchen.  Suddenly, Detective Sty faced the cooler cuffed to Detective Roswell’s wrist:

“You are under cardiac arrest for the murder of Captain Avery Maylocks, should he not receive his heart.  You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney.  If you cannot afford an attorney…”

And so, Detective Sty read the heart its Miranda Rights.  Reluctantly, the Lieutenant allowed the two detectives to leave with the heart. The detectives went straight to the cardiac unit at the Billy Crystal Heart Hospital and handed over the heart in the cooler to the surgeon.  Mrs. Maylocks hugged Roswell and Sty and cried.  Maylocks had the heart transplant and recuperated at home.  As for Detectives Roswell and Sty, each received a medal from the Deputy Mayor of New Brooklyn (Mayor Blinder had gone off to the Bahamas and had not been heard from since).  The Lieutenant from the OTU was transferred to the Nuevo York Waste Water Unit in Bedford-Sty, and Mitzi and Dianderas were arrested for conspiracy to commit just about everything.

When Captain Maylocks was well enough, he walked into the 133rd and presented himself and his heart for arrest for complicity and obstruction (the charges were summarily dropped).  He soon became Chief of Detectives and later was offered Chief of Police, but he turned it down, retired, and now lives in St. Disney, Florida with his new wife, Tiffany, a macaw named Billy Crystal, and their six dogs.

“The End.  Wasn’t that a great story?  It’s a very old story.”

“Wait, wait.  Why does Maylocks have a new wife?”

“His first wife left him for another man.  Seems it wasn’t menopause she was having.”

“What’s menopause, Grandpa?”

“Not now.  You’ll learn about it soon enough.  What do you think is the moral of the story?”

“What kind of bedtime story was that, Grandpa?  And, what’s tes…test..testrone… whatever?”

“Never mind all that.  We’ll talk about it tomorrow.  You go to sleep now and tomorrow we’ll talk about what you learned from the story…”

“What’s con…coplicity, Grandpa?  This sucks.”

“Just go to sleep. Tomorrow I’ll read you a fairy tale about drug trafficking, okay?”


“Go to sleep.”

” Wait a minute. Grandpa….”

“Good night, now.”

“Good night, Grandpa.”

Inspiration Monday:  Cardiac Arrest  at  Be Kind Rewrite

Word Count:  993

The title of this story refers to the song, “Young at Heart”, sung by Frank Sinatra, songwriters: Johnny Richards and Carolyn Leigh, which made its début in the movie by the same name in 1954.  The first lines of the song pertain to the story:  Fairy tales can come true, they can happen to you, if you’re young at heart.



When I was a kid I wanted to be an "atomic" scientist. Not anything my mother expected of me. Well, I became a scientist, just not an atomic one.

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Posted in fiction, humor, inspiration monday, Life, Weird, writing
4 comments on “Young at heart
  1. This. Is. Hilarious. The details are brilliant, from the license to have a child, to the iPad220, to St. Disney, Florida and beyond. Love it.

    • Lucy says:

      Thank you so much.. I had fun writing it. I live in Florida. I moved here recently mostly to be near Disney World. .I had to throw in the St. Disney. I’m enjoying the prompts by the way. Lucy

  2. elmowrites says:

    haha, I like the main story and the idea of a story within a story makes it all the more intriguing too. Nice details like the New-everything and St Disney. Concrit: capital not capitol

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© [Lucy Conrad] and [Sapient Chronicles], [2015-2016]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [Lucy Conrad] and [Sapient Chronicles] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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