Could I survive a zombie apocalypse?

Ever wonder– could I survive a zombie apocalypse?


First of all, what is a zombie apocalypse?  I mentioned it to my Christian roommate (that’s Christian with a large “C” versus the rest of us Philistines)  and she said she wouldn’t be around for it.  I had to clear that one up and informed her that it was not “The Apocalypse”  for which she  annoyingly keeps telling me she won’t be here, having been taken away by the Rapture.  Clearly, she assumes I will be left behind.   I assume it will be like the “Walking Dead ” television series, or the movie “Zombie Apocalypse”, or perhaps like the “Resident Evil” movies, my favorite.  I have been a fan of Milla Jovovich since her appearance in “The Fifth Element”.  So, we can assume it will be something like the imaginings of genre authors, TV and film writers.  How can I assume that?  Let’s take a look at the ways that “zombification” could occur and from which an apocalypse could ensue.  I am not going to go into detail.  There are many sources on the web for reference.

ImageBriefly, “zombification”  is to turn someone into a zombie.  Duh.  In the Voodoo religion, a zombie is an animated corpse raised  by magical means.   In popular culture, zombies are the walking dead popularized in films and television horror and fantasy.  They’re mindless creatures with an appetite for human flesh, even human brains.  Many believe it was George A. Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead” that popularized the genre.  The “zombie apocalypse” concept, where the world is critically infested with zombies, has become popular so much so that the CDC (Centers for Disease Control), in 2011 used the idea as a theme to promote disaster preparedness (CDC).   A great source of information about the whole zombie thing is right here on wordpress at

I’ve done some reading online and I found “Cracked” has a good article on the zombie apocalypse, which lists five ways it could happen according to science:  1. nanobots infesting human brains;  2. neurogenesis as regeneration or reanimation of dead human brains;  3.  a virus infecting the human brain;  4. neurotoxins affecting brain cells;  5.  parasites that turn humans into mindless zombies (  For an apocalypse any one of these would have to happen on a global scale.  So, I wonder how I would survive a zombie apocalypse?  Well, let’s check out the CDC’s idea of disaster preparedness and see if that would be a good place to start.

Simply go to and type in the search bar “zombie apocalypse” and you’ll find their disaster plan.  And that’s not all.  They have zombie blogs.  Clearly these are meant for the subadults in America.  The plan is like any other preparedness plan:  gather emergency supplies; develop a family disaster plan; learn how to shelter in place; understand quarantine and isolation; maintain a healthy state of mind.  I’m not going to into each for obvious reasons.  My thought is that preparedness would depend a lot on the type of zombies and their respective threats, but we can assume that a bite from a zombie either will infect the victim, or not.  Infection would be a big issue.  No infection would be a bit easier, I would think.  However, the most logical hypothesis is that the zombies would be infectious.  So, how do I stay clear of zombies?  Either I make my way to a military base, such as Fort Knox, or I find fellow uninfecteds who have a fortified, well-protected shelter and move in with them.  That’s a lot of if’s.  I plan on having an over and under shotgun with lots of ammo and possibly a flame thrower and hold up in the basement of a stone-built building.  I am not opposed to blowing or burning a zombie into oblivion if it means my survival.  I am a strong proponent for explosives.


I’m not as fit as I used to be thanks to cancer treatment, but hopefully I have time to get myself together before the sh**  hits the fan.  If not, then I wonder what I would look like zombified?  I’m going to need either a side arm or a bottle of narcotic  pills to resolve that possible issue.  What if my dead body can be reanimated by one of those zombies?  Then I suppose I’ll have to bequeath my flame thrower to someone who will take care of my cremation needs.  There’s always decapitation, but I think that’s a lot to ask of a friend, never mind an acquaintance.  All would be moot if I had a way of getting to a safe, uncharted, island with all the supplies I would need.  Like that’s going to happen.  So, looks like I’m totally unprepared and will be for some time.  In any case, “forewarned is forearmed” and I could survive, at least awhile,  by spontaneity,  serendipity and a large amount of firepower.

That’s it for the zombie apocalypse question.  I had thought about the biblical “Apocalypse” and how I  would survive that since my roommate wouldn’t be around to help.  But, to tell you the truth, you’ve seen one apocalypse you’ve seen them all.  Meaning, a disaster, is a disaster.  Either I’d be fighting zombies or fighting the minions of an anti-Christ whilst dodging  lava-spewing volcanoes and every other “end of the world”  crap that some omnipotent being uses to take out the majority of the human race.  But, what if that omnipotent being uses zombies?  Or worse, what if there are two separate apocalypses?  You just get finished fighting for humanity and saving some remnant of civilization and “BAM” here comes another one.  Something like that could cause a body to see if she could get a seat on that Rapture ride.  Oh, come on, that’s not heresy, it’s pragmatism…


When I was a kid I wanted to be an "atomic" scientist. Not anything my mother expected of me. Well, I became a scientist, just not an atomic one.

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Posted in Apocalypse, horror, humor, zombie
One comment on “Could I survive a zombie apocalypse?
  1. This is awesome… I think I would do well in an apocalypse of any sort… I suck at the real world, but if society ever breaks down, you are all going to end up working for me…

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