Could I survive a zombie apocalypse?

Ever wonder– could I survive a zombie apocalypse?

Image

First of all, what is a zombie apocalypse?  I mentioned it to my Christian roommate (that’s Christian with a large “C” versus the rest of us Philistines)  and she said she wouldn’t be around for it.  I had to clear that one up and informed her that it was not “The Apocalypse”  for which she  annoyingly keeps telling me she won’t be here, having been taken away by the Rapture.  Clearly, she assumes I will be left behind.   I assume it will be like the “Walking Dead ” television series, or the movie “Zombie Apocalypse”, or perhaps like the “Resident Evil” movies, my favorite.  I have been a fan of Milla Jovovich since her appearance in “The Fifth Element”.  So, we can assume it will be something like the imaginings of genre authors, TV and film writers.  How can I assume that?  Let’s take a look at the ways that “zombification” could occur and from which an apocalypse could ensue.  I am not going to go into detail.  There are many sources on the web for reference.

ImageBriefly, “zombification”  is to turn someone into a zombie.  Duh.  In the Voodoo religion, a zombie is an animated corpse raised  by magical means.   In popular culture, zombies are the walking dead popularized in films and television horror and fantasy.  They’re mindless creatures with an appetite for human flesh, even human brains.  Many believe it was George A. Romero’s “Night of the Living Dead” that popularized the genre.  The “zombie apocalypse” concept, where the world is critically infested with zombies, has become popular so much so that the CDC (Centers for Disease Control), in 2011 used the idea as a theme to promote disaster preparedness (CDC).   A great source of information about the whole zombie thing is right here on wordpress at http://www.thezombieblog.net.

I’ve done some reading online and I found “Cracked” has a good article on the zombie apocalypse, which lists five ways it could happen according to science:  1. nanobots infesting human brains;  2. neurogenesis as regeneration or reanimation of dead human brains;  3.  a virus infecting the human brain;  4. neurotoxins affecting brain cells;  5.  parasites that turn humans into mindless zombies (http://cracked.com).  For an apocalypse any one of these would have to happen on a global scale.  So, I wonder how I would survive a zombie apocalypse?  Well, let’s check out the CDC’s idea of disaster preparedness and see if that would be a good place to start.

Simply go to http://cdc.gov and type in the search bar “zombie apocalypse” and you’ll find their disaster plan.  And that’s not all.  They have zombie blogs.  Clearly these are meant for the subadults in America.  The plan is like any other preparedness plan:  gather emergency supplies; develop a family disaster plan; learn how to shelter in place; understand quarantine and isolation; maintain a healthy state of mind.  I’m not going to into each for obvious reasons.  My thought is that preparedness would depend a lot on the type of zombies and their respective threats, but we can assume that a bite from a zombie either will infect the victim, or not.  Infection would be a big issue.  No infection would be a bit easier, I would think.  However, the most logical hypothesis is that the zombies would be infectious.  So, how do I stay clear of zombies?  Either I make my way to a military base, such as Fort Knox, or I find fellow uninfecteds who have a fortified, well-protected shelter and move in with them.  That’s a lot of if’s.  I plan on having an over and under shotgun with lots of ammo and possibly a flame thrower and hold up in the basement of a stone-built building.  I am not opposed to blowing or burning a zombie into oblivion if it means my survival.  I am a strong proponent for explosives.

ImageImage

*******************************************************************************************************
I’m not as fit as I used to be thanks to cancer treatment, but hopefully I have time to get myself together before the sh**  hits the fan.  If not, then I wonder what I would look like zombified?  I’m going to need either a side arm or a bottle of narcotic  pills to resolve that possible issue.  What if my dead body can be reanimated by one of those zombies?  Then I suppose I’ll have to bequeath my flame thrower to someone who will take care of my cremation needs.  There’s always decapitation, but I think that’s a lot to ask of a friend, never mind an acquaintance.  All would be moot if I had a way of getting to a safe, uncharted, island with all the supplies I would need.  Like that’s going to happen.  So, looks like I’m totally unprepared and will be for some time.  In any case, “forewarned is forearmed” and I could survive, at least awhile,  by spontaneity,  serendipity and a large amount of firepower.

That’s it for the zombie apocalypse question.  I had thought about the biblical “Apocalypse” and how I  would survive that since my roommate wouldn’t be around to help.  But, to tell you the truth, you’ve seen one apocalypse you’ve seen them all.  Meaning, a disaster, is a disaster.  Either I’d be fighting zombies or fighting the minions of an anti-Christ whilst dodging  lava-spewing volcanoes and every other “end of the world”  crap that some omnipotent being uses to take out the majority of the human race.  But, what if that omnipotent being uses zombies?  Or worse, what if there are two separate apocalypses?  You just get finished fighting for humanity and saving some remnant of civilization and “BAM” here comes another one.  Something like that could cause a body to see if she could get a seat on that Rapture ride.  Oh, come on, that’s not heresy, it’s pragmatism…

Advertisements
About

When I was a kid I wanted to be an "atomic" scientist. Not anything my mother expected of me. Well, I became a scientist, just not an atomic one.

Tagged with: , , , , ,
Posted in Apocalypse, horror, humor, zombie
One comment on “Could I survive a zombie apocalypse?
  1. This is awesome… I think I would do well in an apocalypse of any sort… I suck at the real world, but if society ever breaks down, you are all going to end up working for me…

Seriously, tell me what you think

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

IMAGINATION WILL OFTEN CARRY US TO WORLDS THAT NEVER WERE. BUT WITHOUT IT WE GO NOWHERE.
Carl Sagan

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 155 other followers

Follow Sapient Chronicles on WordPress.com
Categories
Archives
Follow Sapient Chronicles on WordPress.com
Copyright Notice

© [Lucy Conrad] and [Sapient Chronicles], [2015-2016]. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to [Lucy Conrad] and [Sapient Chronicles] with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

February 2014
M T W T F S S
« Jan   Mar »
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
2425262728  

100 POSTS 9/08/14

Follow Sapient Chronicles on WordPress.com
Blog Stats
  • 4,213 hits
Legal Stuff

Creative Commons License
The Sapient Chronicles by Lucy Conrad is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Based on a work at conradlucy.wordpress.com.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at conradlucy.wordpress.com.

YeahWrite

Where your words matter.

Nothing Gilded, Nothing Gained-Period Drama on Paper at Middlemay Farm

Fiction Books, History, Memoir by Adrienne Morris

Mrs Reckless Writes

Fiction, Almost-Truths & Not-Poetry

Bradscribe

A fine WordPress.com site

Habitat for Heavy Hearts

Small, Thoughtful Moments

Cognitive Reflection

Random Thoughts and Musings from London Town

Claire Fuller

Writing and art

Live to Write - Write to Live

We live to write and write to live ... professional writers talk about the craft and business of writing

Notes Tied On The Sagebrush

Writing About Life

BOOKING IT

Debra's Excellent Adventures in Reading and Travel

countingducks

reflections on a passing life

Hangaku Gozen

For we cannot tarry here, We must march my darlings

Anne Higa

Out-of-this-World Fantasy Author

bekindrewrite

write unto others as you would have them write unto you

This is Another Story

About life, fantasy, and everything in between

castelsarrasin

The work and activities of a writer/bargee

Yarnspinnerr

Just Fiction and other things that seem fictitious.

Odyssey of a Novice Writer

Aspiring novelist. Avid reader of fiction. Reviewer of books. By day, my undercover identity is that of meek, mild-mannered legal assistant, Kate Loveton, working in the confines of a stuffy corporate law office; by night, however, I'm a super hero: Kate Loveton, Aspiring Novelist and Spinner of Tales. My favorite words are 'Once upon a time... ' Won't you join me on my journey as I attempt to turn a hobby into something more?

First Night Design

Art, Design, Theatre, Literature, History, Food, Laughter ...

Enchanted Seashells by Princess Rosebud

Beguiling pearls of wit, wisdom, and whimsy-with attitude

The Zombie Blog

Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse

Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas

** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **

Don Charisma

because anything is possible with Charisma

Hacker.Ninja.Hooker.Spy.

Some mistakes are too good not to share

Sonya Lira Photography

Texas Style Photography

Ben's Bitter Blog

"We make bitter better."

belsbror

Simple Living

Leaning on the Son

Inspired by Faith, Hope, Love and Him

Capture You Photography

Texas Style Portraits

Flamingo Dancer's Blog

If I am a goddess why are my feet stuck in the trenches?

Ned's Blog

Humor at the Speed of Life

Adventures in Wonderland

a pilgrimage of the heart

The Brantley Blog

In the eyes of the law, we reach adulthood the day we turn 18 years old. God help anyone who actually believes that.

Pouring My Art Out

Ripping out my guts for your entertainment

The Daily Post

The Art and Craft of Blogging

Mostly Bright Ideas

Some of these thoughts may make sense. But don't count on it.

A slight obsession with books

Reading and Fibrecrafts

Bad Anemone Press

Science is Funny by Dr. Jim Garvey

Thain in Vain

Mind the Glitches

The WordPress.com Blog

The latest news on WordPress.com and the WordPress community.

%d bloggers like this: